Merry Christmas Mom
Friday, December 23, 2005


Brenda Lee, Bing Crosby, Gene Kelley...they heralded Christmas in our house growing up. Every knick knack was packed away to make room for dancing elves, grinning snowmen and rosey cheeked Santa's. Just opening the box full of decorations caused the smell of Christmas to waft out and surround me like a favorite blanket. I loved being home during Christmas, if only to just soak in the smells and tastes of homemade fudge and sugar cookies and listen to the sound of Silent Night played on the wind up music box; I played it till it broke.

The presents were important at the time I'm sure, but I can't remember much of them now. I do remember sneaking around your bedroom trying to find my presents before you or dad caught me. I swear you could hear the rustle of a bag from down the street. I would get up at the crack of dawn Christmas morning, after barely dozing off, and crawl back in bed with my stocking. It was all I was allowed until you and Dad woke up. Every year I got a bag of chocolate coins and a mandarin orange in my stocking. We could eat all the junk we wanted that day, as long as we ate the orange first. It's probably why I still love mandarin oranges to this day, and why my son gets to abide by the same rules you put down for me so very long ago.
There was family everywhere. Great big dinners with the usual squabbling, but Lord knows none of us would have had it any other way. Dozing out in front of the TV surrounded by new Barbies and roller skates. Laying on the couch with you, cuddled in the crook made by your knees. Safe, home, love. You gave those things to me. You gave me magic each and every year. I'm trying so hard Mom, to pass it on. I struggle to remember that feeling and it's right there if only I could reach just a bit more. I miss you so. You were never my best friend, I never wanted you to be, you were my mom, my definition of family and it's exactly what I needed.
So this Christmas Eve I will shut the door to my bedroom while Kendell tries to peak under the door, just like I used to. I will surround myself with presents to wrap and only one night to wrap them in. I will tuck Kendell into bed with kisses and whispers of Christmas dreams. Then I will go sit in the soft glow of the Christmas tree lights, surrounded by the smell of Christmas, and I will remember you.
I love you mom, Merry Christmas.




Introducing...........
Monday, December 19, 2005

Buddy!!!

He looks pretty normal here doesn't he. 95 pounds of fur and heart melting whimpers. We were told when we got Buddy at seven weeks old that he was half Great Pyrenees and half Alaskan Malamute. I saw both parents so I had no reason to think they might be lying. However certain behaviors over the last two years have caused me to question his parentage.

It has since been discovered that Buddy's mama was "friendly" with the local neighborhood Mountain Goat. We have now been forced to cage our dog/Goat hybrid for our own protection.

Visiting hours are from noon to two p.m. Please call for reservations.




Christmas in Hollis
Thursday, December 15, 2005

My own personal gangsta, I couldn't be more proud. Hey, anything is an improvement from the constant boy band impressions he's been harassing me with. I curse the day Justin Timberlakes curly locks ever graced my TV screen. Now if I can just convince him not to sing like Tiny Tim, I can remove the ear plugs and the dog will stop howling. I have a sneaking suspicion my sister plans on getting him a karaoke machine for Christmas. I say that's grounds for sicking Buddy on her. Nothing like a good old fashioned doggy kiss to make you wish could bathe in bleach.




Gerbil Invasion
Friday, December 09, 2005

Ok, I have officially had it with the gerbil population growth happening in my home. It started out with such good intentions over a year ago.
October of 2004 Kendell turned nine. One of his gifts was a set of female gerbils he picked out from a well known pet store that will remain nameless (petco). Kendell called them Sally and Allie. Not very inventive..but hey..what do you expect from a nine yr old boy.. Sally has a yearning for freedom. She's also pretty smart. She's managed to pry open the door and escape. She was on the lame for about two days before we brought the dogs in(well, the dog, more aptly named Buddy) to sniff her out and cornered her behind the fridge. When offered the choice of becoming a late night snake to giant dog or running into her little exercise ball..she choose the ball... like I said, smart gerbil. Where was allie in all this you might ask? Back at the cage. Evidently she figures, got water, got food, exercise wheel....staying here.
Well, sallys latest attempt at escape seems to have a deeper meaning. Evidently Allie is actually Al. What we thought was a female gerbil has now been outed as being definitely male. Lying petco bastards.
We had to wait to take the pups back to the store until they were weaned. The store forgot to tell me to separate the male from the female. (your saying "no shit" right now aren't you) Since I've never been a lactating gerbil mother...I had no idea they would be getting busy with brand new babies. Yup, here comes a second litter. I take back the 1st litter, we keep the mom, one female pup and the new pup which we plan on taking to the store as soon as its weaned. On the way to the store the male broke through our barrier in the box. You guessed it....third litter. Man, I've had some exboyfriends that had fast moves...they had nothing on Al..let me tell you. But I am here to say my feeble attempts at single handedly populating the northwest region with gerbils has come to an end. I have found a kind hearted (sucker) animal lover to take over my brood. By Monday I should be gerbil free. I shall be like those women in the feminine hygiene commercials, complete with a refreshing breeze blowing through my flowing locks as I frolics joyously through a flower strewn field.....
well shit, ok, switch breeze with a air freshener, scratch out field of flowers and replace with living room of small green army men but there's still me..with a very big shit eating grin on my face and still gerbil free. Before you judge me to harshly about wanting to deep six the gerbils...take a look at that picture up there. He's pretty cute right? Right after the picture was taken..he took a chunk outa Kendells finger. Ungrateful little buggers.




Pre-qualification for parenting.....
Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Just a word of advice..well, ok, several words...
When deciding to have a child with that significant other...quiz each other on your elementary school strengths. I'm serious here. If you suck in math, your significant other MUST excel. This will save you from many nights of pulling out your hair in utter frustration. Here's where I come in. I have no significant other(...not even an insignificant other..unless you count a stalker exboyfriend ) so I'm stuck with having to be a tutor in all scholastic areas whether I'm good at them or not. This makes for joyous homework sessions with my ten yr old(insert steam coming out of ears..here). Last night I spent several hours trying to explain the relationship between multiplication and division. If 2x4=8 then 4 divides into 8, 2 times. Seems simple right? WRONG....we worked the same type of problems for two hours...yes..I said TWO HOURS. By the time we were done I had scheduled a hysterectomy with my gynecologist and had gouged out my eyes and ear drums. Kendell however has happily completed his homework, smug in the knowledge that he made mom answer most of his math questions inadvertently while trying to explain those same math questions. He is much craftier then I tend to give him credit for....destined for life as a politician.




Identity
Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Blogger is a bit new to me. I started out blogging my woes on AOL, then transferred my sarcastic witty side to Myspace. So here I am dipping my toes on this forum and still trying to get a idea of who I want to be. I tend to be a manic depressive writer. One minute I'm full of happy happy joy joy...next...woe is me. I do know I love to pour out my heart to willing ears and I love to make people laugh....or maybe just wince in sympathy. I started writing as a release. I lost my mother unexpectedly in the beginning of 2004, dealt with a house fire and then another death of a close friend near the end of 2004. Since I couldn't afford therapy...here I am. I'm a single mother, full time office worker and overtime worry wart. With the loss of my mother, I lost my anchor and I've been floundering out here on my own now for over a year. Being a single mother I distanced myself from old friends and never really get out to meet many new ones. All this compiles up to one big 'what the hell happened' to me. I'm 32, and absolutely alone for the first time in my life. The love of my life married someone else, my best friend and I haven't talked for two years and I'm getting fat. I'd buy a dozen cats and call it good if it wasn't for the dog...he'd eat them and I HATE digging holes....
sigh.








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  • Name:Kara
  • Location: Tacoma, Washington, United States
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  • I'm a recovering single mother trying desperately to see humor in my day to day toil while simultaneously avoiding reality as much as humanly possible.

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